2016 a year in which the UK decided to leave the EU, trump was elected as the next US president and seemed like a lot has been going wrong in the world. From the outside in this might look like the case but about 3 weeks ago, I was laying in hospital, spherically in an MRI scanner; my head stuck in a tight fitted frame, headphones on and Capital FM on trying to black out the noise. My attention drifted between the tiny mirror placed above me so I could look out at the room and the image of the sky placed on the celling. Now 's are not my favourite thing in the world and all I wanted was to be sat in the Subway shop eating a bacon lettuce and tomato sub, but unfortunately I would have to wait. For a few minutes, I began thinking about a YouTube vide I had seen a few days earlier by Jay Shetty who lived as a monk for a few years and now creates videos and interviews with various writers, activists and campaigners. Laying there in a state of anxiety I just wanted to take my focus away from that present moment and that is where the video came in handy; in the YouTube clip Jay spoke about the future and planning and odd thing to come to mind when most of the time im focused on Dominos and worrying about five minutes ahead of me, but oddly I remembered a him talking about finding strength in difficulty. His number one rule is to say it's okay to feel the way we do, want to cry and be experiencing the emotions you are in and how this secondly, links to history and looking to the past of people who have made change or influenced the future. He goes on to talk about the fact that any challenges we face today, we have as a collective have faced the same if not worse challenges. Quoting Martin Luther King Jr. Jay Say “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.” 2016 like any year has had it controversy, it’s highs and lows; today alone I woke up to notification from the news of war in the East updates on twitter of trump and his presidential plans for his time in office and yes, the world and changes we currently see happening scare me, like a lot of things in my life (I worry a lot) as most of my friends will know. And I know when people talk about the solution to ending war, love and peace are always mentioned but never shown any deeper understanding or practice in day to day activity. It was also Martin Luther King Jr. who said “Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.” … wow, you can really tell I like a good quote!
Doubt has been a massive influence in my life over the course of 2016, am I good enough to graduate in however many months it is, seems to be my go to question when I wake up in the morning and look over to my phone and check my social media feeds. Something I have been trying to do less as I have found that I spend more time on my phone, than I do exploring the world around that tiny little screen of my iPhone. You know it’s crazy when I went on holiday earlier this year I think I tried to capture as much as I could on my Instagram than I did just taking in the surroundings. Since then I have tried, but often failed to achieve this; but if I am honest I like being able to connect with the other side of the world from my phone but im starting to realise that time is fast and I spend so much time worrying that I might not make it a week into the future because of my fear of becoming ill, but I will also spend a good 45 minutes scrolling through my Twitter and watching videos of people exploring the world in places I would give anything to go to. So my challenge for 2017 is to firstly get a 1st in my dissertation and secondly spend each minute thinking of new ways to enhance myself be that booking a holiday, not going on my phone for a day, because I have noticed this year that although I couldn’t live without being connected to the world because I am always trying to create a new campaign to inspire young people or connect the story of IFightFor to others, sometimes it takes taking a step back and acknowledging the bigger picture to see what right there. 6 years ago, I would never have thought I could or would want to be where I am now, I remember being at home and being told something that I would never of thought would happen. But it did and all I remember is running and running to the beach near my house and just wanting to SHOUT, SCREAM and give up because nothing seemed achievable. Being totally honest this is a challenge I have faced a lot, since Christmas 2010; but at the same time a lot of awesome stuff has happened I was inspired and supported to create the IFightFor organisation and brand. Which this year has seen growth in investment and projects it runs for young people in West Sussex. We got our first celebrity ambassador and joined forces with Andover New Street Football club and raise over £600 to fund future development as a community based company. There is a guy called Zach Sobiech who when living with terminal cancer said you don’t have to be told you are dying to start living. Although 2016 has been one of those years with pain, uncertainty and outcomes we would never have predicted, 2017 is only a few days away and is another 365 chance to make a difference, met and connect with people and challenge perceptions, ideas and eat a lot more Subway and Dominos! (had to get that in).
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AuthorBrain tumour survivor. Ambassador, campaigner and co-founder of #IFightFor Archives
January 2019
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